For partners

What it is

against. is a private app your partner uses to track and work toward changing their relationship with porn. It is a tool for self-monitoring, not a confessional, and not a contract between the two of you.

Who it is for

Both of you, in different ways. The app is built for the person doing the work. This page is for you.

How it works

The app tracks streaks, lets your partner log moments without writing anything, and stores everything encrypted on their device. You don’t have access to it, and that’s intentional. The privacy is what makes the work possible.

Why this approach

Recovery work built on surveillance is just compliance with extra steps. Tools that promise transparency to partners often fail both people: the person doing the work loses agency, and the partner becomes a parole officer. against. is built on a different premise: lasting change is interior work, and the relationship is healed through honest conversation, not by reading someone’s logs.

More on the partner perspective: A guide for partners · Privacy is not the same as silence.

Common questions

Should I have access to their app data? Not through the app. If transparency is part of your relationship’s repair, agree on what gets shared in conversation.

How do I know if they’re really using it? You don’t, through the app. That’s by design. Use the same tools you’d use elsewhere: talking, time, observed behavior.

I’m hurt. Where do I go? Therapy is the right answer here, especially with a clinician who specializes in betrayal trauma. The app is a tool for one person; your healing deserves its own support.